First Christmas in Heaven

 Merry Christmas!

The last Christmas Eve Mass that Dad was song leader I was with Mom & Dad.  At communion time Dad was singing basically alone.  Silent Night has been my favorite Christmas Hymn ever since my trip to Israel.  I was overcome with the thought that so many of my family were missing out.  Sitting in the middle of the church, I tried to record on my phone Dad singing this song.  It is such a special treasured moment for me.  

Dad would lay in his chair and listen to the Christmas music channel for hours and sing with the TV.  Dad's now singing with the Heavenly host of angels this Christmas. I have had trouble listening to Christmas Carols.

A friend sent me laser cut holographic ornaments of Dad for his first Christmas in Heaven.  Not only did he make one for me but also for my siblings.  He also put the image of Dad on a picture frame and inside is the following poem.  Thank you, Randy, for making this first Christmas without Dad special.

My First Christmas in Heaven
by Unknown
 
I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars,
reflecting on the snow
 
The sight is so spectacular,
please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with
Jesus Christ this year.
 
I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.
 
I have no words to tell you,
the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description,
to hear the angels sing.
 
I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away,
We really aren't apart.
 
So be happy for me, dear ones,
You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
 
I sent you each a special gift,
from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory
of my undying love.
 
After all, love is a gift more precious
than pure gold.
It was always most important
in the stories Jesus told.
 
Please love and keep each other,
as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessing or love
He has for each of you.
 
So have a Merry Christmas and
wipe away that tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
 

This Christmas has been hard for me.  Not only is this the first Christmas without Dad but Derrick & family are gone for a week for a holiday vacation.  I am taking care of 3 dogs and the water for all the cattle.  That is no big deal except the weather got to -14 degrees with a 41 below zero wind chill.  Normally Dad would have been doing chores and feeding cattle also and I would have been helping him to make it easier for him.  This year I am doing it alone with a hired man feeding.  Ice on top of the tank was the hardest part.  It took an ax to chop it.   When it is that cold the 4 wheeler would not start so I used my car to go up & down the hill to do chores and to spend time with Mom.  I am grateful that my car is working this week instead of being dead disabled and in the shop as it was the week before.  With the weather their flights have been cancelled so they will be a couple more days away.  The weather is warming up now and that makes it all easier.  This makes me miss Dad all the more.  I always enjoyed working with him and spending time with him like that.

Love you, Daddy!  Merry Christmas

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace."  Isaiah 9:6 

Rose

Wood Smoke

 It has now been 7 months since the death of my Dad.  Yesterday was another 'first'.  I walked out the front door to go to Mom's and could smell wood smoke.  I burst into tears.

When I was in high school Dad built a wood burning stove in the basement.  I loved winter nights when I would come home from a date or other event, the stove was burning and the smell of the wood smoke from the stove smelled so good to me.  It was the 'Welcome Home' smell-home is my safe place smell.  

When Dad & Mom built their underground house on the farm in the late 70's, their only heat was an Ashley wood burning stove.  In the fall Mom would have a "dragon party".  All the kids and grandkids came to the farm and would drag wood to Dad who cut it on the buzz saw.  Mom made chili and cinnamon rolls.  It was again the safe, welcome home smell I loved.  

Almost 16 years ago I moved to the farm.  I have a wood stove in my basement and would burn wood a lot and only use the furnace at night as the house cooled off.  Every day in the winter as I would walk out of my house I could smell that smoke from Dad's stove.  That smell of home!  

The past few years as Dad had more trouble cutting wood, I would not use any that the kids or grandkids cut for him.  I would only use wood I helped him gather and cut.  Last fall Dad and my brothers put a furnace in their living room so they would have heat even if they didn't cut wood.  

The last I smelled that home smoke smell was in early April before Dad got sick.  He would burn it in the morning to take the chill off the house.  As he became weaker he liked the house warmer also.  This fall was so different as I would head down the hill to Mom's and not smell that constant smell of wood smoke.  

Yesterday Derrick was burning his fireplace and the smell of wood smoke really hit me when I walked out of the door to go to Mom's house.  Oh, how I have missed that smell.  Only now it was not that safe feel of home because Dad is not here burning that wood.  It was a tough time for a while as the memories flooded in on me.  Oh, Daddy, I miss you.

Today as I spent time with Mom, she said it seemed she was so short of breath.  Just to visit seemed to wear her out.  She seems weaker and didn't even really talk much.  She napped off and on in her chair.  Her eyes are rimmed in red almost like bruises and look sunken just like Grandma Schwarz's eyes were before she passed away.  Is this a sign that her time is getting shorter-leaving this mortal existence coming sooner rather than later?  She even talked about maybe she should see her doctor, Amanda.  Mom has an appointment for blood work the week before Christmas and a doctor appointment the week after Christmas.  It is just 2 weeks away but do I need to take her in sooner?  My heart breaks for her.  To be honest maybe it is breaking for myself also.  

Every day Mom askes me if her momma has died.  What about her daddy?  My dad?  She asks about all of her brothers and sisters.  Of the 10 children there is only Mom, Sister Rita, and Phyllis still living.  Dad's family of 10 children, there is only Rita, Bud (Melvin), and Sister Carolyn living.   

My Dear Loving Heavenly Father,

I pray with gratitude for all the many blessings you have given to me and to my family.  I am grateful for each and every day I have had with my parents and being able to serve, love and honor them.  I pray for my mother as she has trouble remembering and suffers from multiple terminal illnesses at the same time.  I pray for the peace and comfort of the Savior that comes through the gift of the Holy Ghost.  I am grateful for the Savior making an atoning sacrifice, taking upon himself all sins and trials and tribulations of mankind - for me.  He suffered and died for me.  He overcame death for me.  I pray for forgiveness of my sins. Thank you for your love.

I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Rose